vomit comet

I feel sick. They feed us here before GT and I think I ate too much mac&tweese. The vomit, it shall surely come. Hopefully after I get off work though (christIneedthemoney).

Last night was Rocky Hoorrrorrorororororr. Kristi, Emma, your absence was palpable. Kristi, you would have been pissed. Those kids at Dragonfly have NO IDEA what the fuck they're doing. Don't advertise props if you're going to give them all to the first show. Panties were worn, face was painted, be-boa-ed. I was really tired though; perhaps after 5 years it has lost its appeal.

I don't know. A lot of things have lost their appeal lately.
(Don't mind me, I'm just going through another one of those 'moooooods' again I guess).
It was good to hang out with Danna and Leah and Lela and Evn though.

Before we went to a zombie dance party at alal's. Oh sweet lord the kids there looked disgusting. After my own heart (er, brains I guess). Got told I was pretty. Panicked, then awkwardly replied "Thanks. You look really... dead." I am SO SOCIAL SMOOOOTH Y'ALL.

Started a new painting. I don't think I like it. We'll see I guess. I think I might try some portraits. whynotwhynotwhynot?

I should try some writing soon.

2 and a half days of this shitty job left.

the wild rumpus

five months.

My last day of this job is the 1st. I got hired by Waldenbooks and will be a slave to the calendar kiosk if nothing else comes up. I am driving out to Sugar and App ski mountains on Tuesday to try and get a job. I think Sugar is hiring for the office. I have office experience.

(If I get hired full time by a ski place I will probably stay in Boone until the end of my lease, as originally planned.)

The January goal was if I had nothing going on here. However, if I have a full time job I will stay.

(Christ I don't want to move back in with my parents.)

I'm still applying for big kid jobs in the real world though.

...
(oh btw I have a boyfriend)

you big mucky muck

Got up at 6 to drive back to Boone. Five more hours of work, living on caffeine and fumes.

Got new brakes + oil change, thankgodthankdonthankgod. Now I don't have to worry about losing stopping power and going careening off the mountain.

(not that that wouldn't have been an epic way to go.)

Got my birthday present from mi madre. ELEVEN new canvases + paint. One was too big to fit in my backseat, so it's still at her apt. Which is good, because maybe I can get better at painting before I attempt something so large.

Best day ever with the old gang. Played dressup at the Halloween store, chineeesey food, frolicking together at the park. It's amazing how you can not see certain people for almost a year and be able to fall completely back into step with them. (This was one of the rare occasions when there was no drama between anyone. hooray!) We decided if we started a band it would be called "The Minorateam and Some Honky."

I saw my grandparent's wedding picture for the first time. Apparently right before my great grandma died, one of my aunts borrowed some pictures from her. After she died, my aunt just figured she didn't need to let anyone know she had a shitton of old pictures. So, she brought them to the family reunion in August, and everyone freaked the fuck out on her. So now they're in the posession of my grandparents, and my mom and aunts and uncles all have copies. Mom said she'd copy the CD for me.

If you knew anything about my family situation you'd realize how important this is.

j(action)ville

I am leaving tomorrow afternoon to visit the fam and the beautiful, beautiful coast for a few days. I have an interview at Bath&Body Works at 5pm, but if I leave right after that I should be in Jacksonville by midnight. Don is taking my car to get new brakes and an oil change on Wednesday, hurrah! I would resist but considering that I am (a) broke and (b) he likes to play dad by doing things like that, I will let him.

The weather is supposed to be very warm - mid to high 70s. OHTHANKYOUCHRIST! I will probably borrow his seabring if he still has it and drive out to the beach, hopefully with James and Mark and Nicole, and maybe fly a kite and take pictures and breathe in the air of the ocean and feel content.

deep set chill

SO, it is officially a chilly morning in my apartment. I slept in sweat pants and a thermal shirt last night, with two blankets in various states of coverage, and neglected to break a sweat. Right now I am sitting in said pajamas wearing my fuzzy fleece and feeling the cold from my tile floor seep through my black socks and spread like roots of discomfort through my body.

grooosss.

I need to get that plastic shit for my windows (I hate that stuff). Or maybe thermal curtains? Or maybe I should use my 3908098 yards of scrap fabric to stitch together delicious quilt-like confections for window coverage?

I have had a few inquiries about subleasing my apartment but so far no serious leads. If anyone in Boone is looking for an efficiency for the spring, let me know please kthx. I'm in the process of s-s-s-serious organizing. I am incapable of throwing away even the most mundane of objects. I need to start a letter-n-note binder. Yesterday I found the scrap of paper from my lip piercer where he wrote his home and cell number, online contact information, and "please call me." ha ha ha. He had filed teeth. BAD-ASS.

Unfortunately, I still don't know where I am going in January. I just know that I have to.

mmnngg

I hate how nobody in this goddamn office gives a shit about any of the other employees here.

Oh, so-and-so fell down the stairs after coming up to give us bread his wife made us? Shit, how much is this going to cost the park? Who are we going to get to cover for him?

blahblahblah.

To be fair, perhaps they've all seen it so many times that, besides death, it doesn't really bother them. (Though I'm not sure if that's excusable.)

At any rate, what a great start to an already shitty morning!

amnot

I am not I am not I am not I am not

office material.

Another night workin' the GT, another night of my youth sliiiiiippppiiiinnnggg away.

I never realized how much I like to work with 'the public' until I have a job where I am locked up in the tower dungeon for hours a day, never talking to anyone except over the phone.

blaaaaahhhhhh

Boone is wearing me thin.

centurion

Last night I got burned in the face with a cigarette. I'm not quite sure what the sequence of gestures was -- I think he was holding on to me with his other hand, on my waist maybe, trying to pull me closer to him to tell me something or try and tickle and then moving his other arm the wrong way and then *psshh* (the sound of flesh burning) and I pushed him and covered my nose with my hand and ran to the bathroom?

I mean, it was all accidental. But still, the way in which a sweet gesture suddenly sours.

I still gave him my key, and he came in later, after I had already fallen into half-sleep. But not long after. He lay down next to me and I turned towards him and he reached out and his hand cupped my face, gently.

This morning I have a small oval burnt into the side of my left nostril. It burns, but only just.

baby baby baby

You know you're old when you stumble across a Facebook group entitled 'White Oak Moms' ...

... and recognize a lot of the girls you graduated high school with. Christ.

I miss Tim. I am walking around as if I am missing a limb or an eye or something very important. Perhaps one of my kidneys. You don't necessarily need both of them, but it makes dealing with all the shit a lot easier. I mean, I'm sure New York's great and all, and I know I'm going to be there soon (uh, hopefully...), but still. Best friends are hard to come by. And now Gary's gone too, so pretty much everyone I love with all my soul (the aforementioned, Matt, Emma, Kristi) has departed Boone.

I mean, don't get me wrong. I really like hanging out with the friends I have right now. But it's not the same as family.

My favorite postcard from today's postsecret: