exmas

Christmas was the usual affair of swear words and swapping insults. Also! No one is allowed to have problems or feel any emotion other than OH GOD I AM SO GOOD TO SEE YOU because it ruins mom's ridiculous, made-for-tv-movie of a perfect Christmas. However, we all survived.

I am very anxious to get back to Boone and back to my life. aaaahhhaaaaahhhh. Tomorrow, tomorrow.

Happy Holidays

Yesterday I quit my job... again. Walked out with absolutely no warning this time, with the realization that nothing I do for that man will be right, so why bother? Uh... yeah... so I decided self-respect is worth more than $12 an hour. So, once again I am unemployed. Though I have been sending out applications! Optimism!

hmm

So I'm about 85% sure my employer just asked me to commit insurance fraud. Hmmm.

Dear HMR: Please call me ASAP and give me a job so I can quit this madness!

IN OTHER NEWS...

Leaving on Christmas Eve (hopefully). Will (hopefully) finish my brother's quilt. Present swapping with Dan tonight (thankfully I just got him his present yesterday, which means I haven't had time to get wiggly and spill the beans about what it is. Other than that it came from downtown, fits in my backpack, and is something he will like. Though that last one probably was assumed.). Part of my back tooth fell out and I accidently sat on my glasses and broke an arm off. But I'm using industrial glue to put them back together.

All in all, besides this job fiasco, I'm feelin' pretty good, pretty good.

alrightalrightalright

I think I am going back to work for CrazyFace today, provided he responds positively to the email I just sent him. If he says something mean or nasty, I'm gonna say 'fuck it.'

I was about 75% sure about this decision, and then yesterday a large chunk of one of my back teeth fell out, resulting in what I am referring to as DENTAL EMERGENCY '09, Y'ALL! It doesn't hurt... yet... though I went to the drug store yesterday to get that tooth spackle shit to see if I can keep the rest of it together. I think I had a filling fall out without realizing it, and then shit got in there and caused MADNESS AND DECAY. Which is going to cause MADNESS on my wallet to fix. So! Time to deal with some bullshit to get paid by Uncle Moneybags.

This weekend is supposed to be the Great Boone Blizzard of '09 or some ridiculous shit like that? Right now I am just seeing evidence of a wintry mix, however it is only 9am. One positive about working for CrazyFace is that his office is a scant three blocks away, so I will be walking this afternoon because I am afraid of driving to an icy death. I'm not so much excited about the snow as I am excited about being snowed in with someone and working on collaborative art projects/writing/quilting/watching movies/making out like 15yrolds.

HCP and Espresso Christmas parties tonight. I told Dan I'd go with him. Espresso should be fun, though he's said HCP is usually a trial, ha ha. One in which we'll be forced to sing. It's my belief that if we just do it loudly, off-key, and with gusto, no one will have to sing next year. I think the most depressing thing is, considering my gimp tooth, I will not be able to consume as many delicious holiday treats as I should. Down for the count in prime cookie season... shame, shame....

WHOA WHOA WHOA

Jesus Christ it's been an eventful few days.

SO, I ... uh... quit my new job yesterday. I have NEVER in my history of employment just plain walked out on a job before with no future prospects and no notice. Monday my boss FUCKING EXPLODED on me over the phone because he couldn't find the house of one of his potential clients. So, even though I printed out two sets of detailed directions (one from mapquest and one with visual markers specifically from the woman's mouth) and a map, I needed to "get my head out of my ass." He "didn't understand why [he] hired me if [he] was going to have to fucking do everything" blah blah blah blah blah. Cue more obscenities. This is just one of several episodes of verbal abuse from him. SO! I decided my self-respect is worth more than $12 an hour.

HOWEVER, I received a very professional and conciliatory email from him today, asking me to return and that he'll leave my job open until the end of business Friday in case I decide to reconsider. SO HERE IS THE SITUATION:

* I could come back Friday, have the weekend to chill out, and then return to work Mon-Wed until the office closes.

* The office re-opens on the 4th, BUT my boss will NOT be back in town until the 14th. The 15th is payday.

* SO, I could work the next 4 business days, then work 9 more without him and only 1 with him, and then get paid a solid chunk of change and decide THEN if I need to quit again.

* IN THE MEAN TIME, I can still be applying for jobs and seeing if I get a better offer (ie something with BENEFITS).

thoughts thoughts thoughts thoughts thoughts

hahaha

seriously? easiest. breakup. ever.

I can't believe I worried so much about that.

Lately! Copious amounts of Twin Peaks. Dunch yesterday with Dan, Cannon, Katie, and Sophia. Enough to convince me I want to put off kids for, you know, still a few years yet. Definitely.

Dan and I went to the antique stores in a fruitless attempt to find either an old badass knife or some sort of mounted dead animal for my brother for Christmas. Mainly we just went "ooh, cool! that's so neat!" a lot and I tried on funny hats, one of which MAY POSSIBLY BE MINE when I get paid, provided it is still there. Because it is BAD-AAASSSSS. I took pictures of a couple ridiculous objects and had more fun than I've had in a coupla weeks.

Now! Showertime before my jorb. Apparently when my boss leaves for Christmas he will not be back until Jan 14th or so, so if I can stick it out for like the next week/weekandahalf I might have a whole 2-3 weeks of working without him... mwaahaahaa yesss...

provided I don't get fired today or something. sheesh.

OH MY LORD

My life is getting more and more complicated every day. Bad complications and some very very incredibly unexpected awesome complications. IN SUMMARY, I NEED TO:

* Take care of the problem mentioned in the last post (uh... yeah... still haven't got around to it... but it's pretty obvious action needs to be taken...)

* Apply to YET MORE JOBS because my boss is insane. Like, I know I've said that before, but this man is. INSANE. christ.

* Finish my portraits.

* Try to make sure my head remains on my shoulders.

THAT IS ALL.

skinny love

Something's different, he can tell. We spend longer moments in silence; I don't feel like speaking at him, and he never feels like speaking. He plays with my side, my thigh, making motions of light tickling though he knows I'm not ticklish. He doesn't look me in the eye, except once every few minutes, sideways. Something's different but he refuses to say it. We kiss with our lips closed, even as we say goodbye.

I've only seen him twice in the last week; well, three, if you count this afternoon's brief meeting. ohboyohboyohboy.

But everything else about this last week has left me incredibly optimistic, about myself and the future. The air has shimmered and I've felt the tiny cells right below my skin expand until I was itchy in a good way. I just don't know if I really need anything beside myself.

superess

Tuesday I get to start my real, terrifying jorb. HOO-YAH. Only one more week of Hot Buns.

I had today off, though. And had a pretty nice day overall. Got lunch with dantheduck at Cha Da Thai, and he introduced me to Thai Iced Tea which tastes like camping. Good talking times! Thankfully my brain recognizes him as an actual friend now so times were significantly less awkward and more enjoyable. Besides my perpetually accidental insults. Afterwards! Coffee and a letter to Emma and watching BK be adorable with Sophie. Then! Mi Madre is completely finished as far as the happy holidays are concerned, so now I just need to figure out something nice to do for my grumpy-yet-lovable older brother.

Now! I'm baking peanut butter cookies to take to the Collective as an offering of good will.

Later! The taking of said cookies? The Nth? first friday usualities.

.

(note to self: please stop being attracted to older men. kthx.)

calenduhr

Work today. They set the schedule so we all have to come in a half hour earlier for all our shifts, thus creating some sort of overlap so when people are late I don't have to throw a bitchfest because I have training somewhere else in a half hour. (I mean, that's probably not the specific reason why, but you know, an example...ish.) Thus... I have to get up a half hour earlier. sad, sad panda.

Went to the doctor yesterday and found out I don't have cancer, AIDs/HIV, herpes, syphilis, etc. etc. etc. Not that I felt there was a really strong chance I had any of those, but it is nice to have the professional reassurance that, no, you aren't going to die anytime soon from some embarrassing venereal disease. I also lost 6 lbs, which I'm attributing to walking 5-7 miles a day at work, and of course forgetting to eat, which I've been doing a little too much lately.

Last night! Ben's going away party-sortish-get together at the s'looon. pool, beer, hugs, yadda yadda yadda. strange social dynamics. I wish him TEH BEST, and hope to see him soon because, as we all know, you can never *really* escape this town... mwaa ha ha...

Also! Playing 'let's get to know each other' with a new friend. I have this... thing... called Being Extremely Socially Awkward, Particularly in Regards to New People and Social Situations, in which I ask really stupid questions in an attempt to engage people in conversation. Like, really stupid. Because I am incapable of normal person "small talk." OH MY LORD I AM SO AWKWARD. I feel like I should just start walking up to people and going "HEY WILL YOU BE MY FRIEND FOR REALZ? LOLZ!!!!!"

Also! Apparently none of the bartenders can spell my last name, so my new name at the bar is "SHA-KA-LACK-A." Thanks, papa.