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I feel like I used to take such better care of myself. Lately I have been eating like shit, ingesting way too much caffeine, not staying hydrated, smoking more and more cigarettes, and drinking excessive amounts of alcohol. Excessive. I'm turning from a happy-go-lucky, silly, fun drunk into one of those really depressed, stare-at-the-bonfire, not fun drunks. Or I get obnoxiously loud about how much I hate this-and-that. This-and-that usually tends to be men. Or one or two in particular.

I feel... I feel... eh. Everything and nothing.

(Also: interesting note. over the past few weeks I have been completely uninterested in starting anything vaguely sexual/romantic with anyone {well, with the exception of one, maybe, but he's currently not in the continental US}. As a result, I have been sort of nice, but generally kind of a bitch to some certain boys in particular who live around here who constantly keep pushing it just a little to far with this whole 'let's be best friends omg and then maybe I can make you drop your lady panties!' The interesting thing about this is that they will not leave. so whenever I am nice the boys don't stay. whenever I'm a complete bitch they won't leave me alone. whhhaaa? listen, kids, I'm not going to be dominated/won by your masculine presence. trust me on this one.)