1. I don't think I know how to love, rather I set up and allow myself to be consumed.
2. I am plagued by the constant fear that TIME IS RUNNING OUT.
(a) This makes me feel pressured to spend every second of my life accomplishing SOMETHING, to the point that going to sleep becomes difficult.
(b) I think this is created by an intense fear of death, of which I cannot accept as inevitable.
(c) Related to a fear of being alone and unloved.
(d) I'm afraid all of this is also tied to some sort of unconscious desire to fix all of the mistakes my family has made in the past and somehow 'fix' my childhood by perfecting my future, as soon as possible.
3. I am terrified of failure and therefore despite #2 I find myself impotent to action.
2b is the story of my constant alone-time existential crisis problems.
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