more dreams

Parts of last night's dream:

Location: coastal, carribean/tropical, small town/village

I was driving at night. I was in a car accident. There was a line of cars driving down a dark highway in the rain, and everything looked blue and orange in the street lights. I saw the cars before me braking but I couldn't brake in time. My right leg had been crossed and propped up on my left knee. A half a second before it happened I thought to myself "I should put my leg down, because if I need to break I won't have enough time to react." I was driving a large black monster-truck-ish sort of vehicle. I crashed into the back bumper of the car in front of me, and I pressed the gas on impulse and crunched over the whole car. I was horrified as it was happening, but I felt impelled to do it. I got out of the car, and there were people all around. They told me to look into the car to see if the people were ok. The entire roof had been crushed in. Everything was rust red and brown and burnt orange. I looked in through the passenger window even though I knew they would be dead. Their heads had been crushed into oblong shapes and their mouths were stretched open grotesquely.

Later in the dream, I was at the Jacksonville house (*note*: I first wrote "my home" but that place feels strange and unfamiliar now). Don was there (I think), and my mom was too. My mom was teasing me about something, and she would stop. She kept trying to touch me or wave her fingers in my face or something, and I wanted her to stop. I started getting really angry and irritated, and I ran and she chased me. I made it into the bathroom and I locked the door behind me. I wondered how long I'd have to wait before I could dash from the bathroom to my bedroom, which was (is/was) just down the hall.

post.apoca

It was hot and humid and unbearably sunny*; strong southern weather. I** saw him walking down the road. He was wearing a dusty brown sun hat with a wide floppy brim and denim coveralls. He had short brown-red hair and a short beard. There was dirt smudged on his face and arms. He didn't have a shirt or shoes. He was pushing a rusty shopping cart filled with all sorts of dirty fabrics and god-knows-what. I was wary; you always had to be wary of who you met those days.

I invited him over. He parked his cart on the peeling sky blue painted porch of my farmhouse, sat next to me on the bench and we ate. He only had two fingers on his right hand -- his middle and index finger. He put them together and used them like a spoon to scrape out chunks of canned peaches in syrup from a dirty can with no label and a jaggedly-cut lid. He offered me the last suck of juice from the can, with one small square piece of peach left in it. I let him scrape his fingers around the sides of the can of my own lunch -- one can of tomato paste.

He followed me inside the house. My house had a huge, fairly modern kitchen. I went rifling through the refrigerator in search of something to offer my guest. "I'm sorry," I said. The electricity has been out for a long time so most everything is spoiled. I haven't had the heart to throw it all out." I pushed past half-open packages of hot dogs and old cheese. There was one white plastic package -- it felt like half a pair in syrup -- that I held for a moment, but then I put it back. I thought mom might be angry if the man and I ate it. I stood up, shut the door to the fridge, and turned around. The strange man had been busy at the stove. He had cooked a giant omelette and a plate of pancakes. "We had eggs?" I thought to myself, surprised.

Then the electricity flickered once. It flickered again, and we heard a huge rumbling noise throughout the house. "Oh, that's just the air conditioner turning on." I said. It took a minute for the implications of this to hit me. Electricity! I ran to the huge stainless steel unit on the wall and franticly pressed the buttons. I pressed a large round power button. The unit had a giant tv attached to it, and it roared to life, showing only static. I pressed the button again, and suddenly we were being shown a professional football game.

"WHAT??" the man roared, enraged. He pushed me back against the refridgerator. "You didn't tell me what it was still like out there!"*** He put his hands around my throat. He was wide-eyed and savage. I was confused. I looked at the screen; most of the stadium was empty, but there were some people there, in the stands, and the game was happening. "I didn't know!" I cried. I managed to escape his grasp and ran out the door of the house. I ran alongside the porch and started into the pine forest behind it.

"You'll be back," shouted the man. "You'll come in through the window or something. You have to. And I'll be here waiting." I knew he was right.

--------------------

NOTES ABOUT THIS DREAM

* This is remarkable in that I very rarely have dreams in which there is strong sunlight. This might be because this was a midday nap dream and therefore my nap environment was sunnier than my usual sleep environment.

** The "I" in my dream was me, but it was not me in my actual, physical body. The "I" I identified with in the dream was a young caucasian male, late 20's to early 30's, living in the country. There's no "evidence" in the dream to prove this other than my own strong feeling that that is who I was.

***something to this effect. what he was referring to was the relatively 'normalcy' of people going to see a professional sporting event while we were essentially living as if society itself had completely crumbled

post-a

First part of last night's dream:

I had been arrested and I was going to jail. I had on handcuffs and I was being led into a "reception area" where they were going to check me in. It must not have been a very bad offense because everyone was really calm about it. This room, which was all white and very bright, also doubled as the prison library. There were small waist-high shelves running along the left walls. They let me choose a book before they went to lock me up. I chose a large book by a Russian writer. It was a book by an author I've heard of, but now I can remember.

Part 2 of the the dream. It was a post-apocoplytic future. Something had happened, and people were rioting. I was in an apartment in a ridiculously tall building in some sort of gated apartment communiuty. I was sitting/standing on the couch and looked at the window. I saw a crowd of rioters yelling and running through the gates. They were coming to loot the apartments. We were concerned but not scared. I was going to leave the apartment. So was Lee Byong-il's (my third grade co-teacher's) wife. She said she was still going to work. She wrapped herself in a shiny light blue trench coat. We left the apartment just as a group of rioters were rounding a corner in the hallway. "Can you believe some people actually aren't locking their doors?" he said. As the words escaped my lips, I realized I hadn't locked the door. But my hand was still on the door handle. "The door is unlocked" I called to the inside. I felt the handle jiggle, and my brother's voice said "No it's not." "Yes it is," I said. "That's just my hand holding it back." I heard the lock click into place.

Part 3 of the dream. I was at a Hollywood Video rental store. It was packed; people were everywhere. There was a really long line of people waiting to rent movies; they had huge stacks of movies in there arms. I thought it was because they knew they would never have to return them because the world was ending and the store wouldn't exist anymore. I was browsing through the movies. I went to look at a table that had movies and candy on it. I saw some girls try and shoplift some twizzlers. I told them they should be ashamed of themselves. Then I counted how many there were and decided I would just buy them the twizzlers. "Is it ok?" I asked their caretaker. Their caretaker (not their mother) told me not to, that they had the opportunity to get jobs and they turned them down. I put the twizzlers down and was torn. I felt guilty because I told the girls I would buy it for them. I wondered if Stephan (my brother) would want any and I started to get some for him. Then I remember that my mother's favorite popcorn is the kind they sell that comes in the tub you can cook in your microwave -- movie theater butter popcorn. I looked over all the shelves but I couldn't find it.

themes

Most of my dreams in the last week have involved several of the same people. As in, there are several people who have shown up several times. It's important to note that these people always look like themselves (or perhaps I just fill in the details later).

I dream about Dan very, very rarely, and every time I do he looks completely different than what he actually looks like.

Lately there's been themes of loss, searching, and also overwhelming sexual themes (which I'm interpreting as my body's way of telling me I need to get laid. Sorry, kid; it's gonna be three or four more months before THAT happens).

-----

snippet from last night's dream

We were sitting in a large classroom. There were small desks which were placed facing each other in small groups of about six desks. I was sitting in a desk in the back right group; she (a person I recently met in real life) was sitting in a desk towards the front middle. I looked up and locked eyes with her. I felt frisson in the glance.

Later in the dream we were riding in the back of a car. The backseat was large enough so that I could lie down on my back. My head was resting on my arm. She said something about how she wished she had a pillow. I motioned to her, and she came and laid beside me, resting her head on my arm.

snippets

We were at a party or something. It was dark. I was walking around the house. My brother was laying down on a couch on his side. His eyes were wide open. I was concerned. I came over to him. "Are you on something?" I asked. He nodded. He was on shrooms. He was scared. I promised to stay with him because I knew how scary being on drugs could be.

mirror

Last night is the only time I've ever dreamed about seeing myself in a mirror. I had long brown hair and half of it was down but have of it was up in a "bump" style. I knew it was me, but only in the face really, and I was reminded of someone else but I don't know who. I was sitting in a tiny bathroom, more of a closet really, and it was dark and lit only by candles. There was steam all around me. I was in an old-fashioned bathtub (curved edges and clawed feet), and the mirror was sitting on a ledge right next to me.

Everything about last night's dream was really weird but I don't want to go into detail about it.

-----

Also! This was part 1 of the dreams from last night. This is what I dreamed before I woke up at 4:49 this morning.

I was on top of a mountain. It was very steep, and the top of the mountain was flat and only about as wide around as two times the floor space of my current apartment. I looked out and surrounding me were other mountains with sharp peaks, pearly blue-gray in color, covered in patches of green moss-or-flora, peaking out from a cloud of mist. I walked back to the center of the mountain top, where there was a circular stone pool of water. Behind the pool, facing the direction opposite to the one I had previously been looking, was a large stone statue of Jesus. He was wearing a robe and had his arms outspread -- very much like O Christo Redentor, but significantly smaller. I walked up to the pool and looked in but saw nothing, just the color blue. I was going to do something (I don't know what), when two young men -- military guys -- came up and started walking around. Whatever I was going to do had to be done in private, and I thought to myself that because it was a "public" place, I couldn't ask them to leave. I walked over to the edge of the mountain which the statue faced. There was a small pool of water. I heard one of the guys say "there's no fish here," and I looked and saw a big brown one swimming toward me in the pool of water. I said "there's a big one over here," and pointed. All of a sudden, two ferrets come running out of the water and throw themselves at me. One of them attacked my left foot, sinking its claws and teeth deep into the skin around my ankle. In the dream it hurt, I felt my foot hurt and I was surprised and frightened. Then I woke up suddenly, memories of the pain still lingering in my ankle.

This dream had the same sort of feel and misty, muted color scheme as the dream with Gary.

trippin

Last night I went to bed with a little bit of a headache. As a result, I dreamed that Meg had "tricked" me into ingesting a couple hits of LSD. I was tripping and it started getting worse and worse and I wasn't sure what was going on until I finally figured out what had happened and I got mad at Meg and told her she shouldn't have made me take it because I don't like drugs and all I wanted to do was stop feeling like the world was spinning around me.

---

A few nights ago I dreamed about John again. This is the third time he has been in my dreams in the last six months. He always appears as some sort of supportive, older brother type; and in reality, I always respected and thought highly of him (even, I'm willing to admit now, put him on a bit of a pedestal, which I'm sure he didn't appreciate at all), so it seems only natural that my "dream advisor" role is filled by him.

fishing

I was fishing with Gary, of all people, and someone else who I knew at the time but now cannot recall. It was in a small deep pond, an infinitely deep puddle really, and we weren't using fishing line; we were using long strips of reeds that grew along the shore. We were catching catfish. I had one but then my reed ripped; it took the worm with it. 'I'll never be able to get one without a worm,' I thought, but I slowly slipped my reed through the water and I felt it jerk in my hand. I tugged it and then pulled it tightly, and to my surprise out came a fish! Gary caught it and put it in the plastic bucket which sat between us. It looked big at first but when I looked at it again it seemed small. I repeated the process and caught another fish. It flopped around a bit but we managed to get it in the bucket. I did it a third time, struggled a little, then pulled out a big fish (fat, about as long as my forearm) and tried to land it. We tried to put it in the bucket but it flared out its gills and got caught on the lip of the bucket. "That's more like it," said Gary. "That's the size we need. Look how small your first one was." He pulled it out of the bucket and showed it to me. The meat was pink; it had already been descaled, the skin pulled back, and somehow miraculously had been filleted. It was pink and clean like fish in the seafood section of the grocery store, except the head was still intact, unblinking. "Too late to throw it back now though," he said.

can'tsleepwon'tsleep

Today I am so tired my body doesn't feel like my own, and I am going through my morning motions as though I were a sleepwalker.

I can't remember the very beginning of it, but towards the beginning I was running through a trail. It was twilight and covered in snow, but it wasn't snowing and I don't remember being cold. It slanted up a little, and there were pine trees so close on either side I couldn't see the sky. I ran out of the end of the trail and up the long driveway of some building that was sort of on a hill. The driveway was covered in snow too, fresh snow, a couple inches of it. No one else had stepped on it. I saw Dan at the top of the hill. I can't remember exact words, but he told me our relationship was based too much on sex and he was having daydreams about having conversations with me, and didn't I see what was wrong? My heart hurt and I didn't want to listen to him, so I turned and ran back down the trail. I remember forcing myself to run as fast as I could and not look back. At one point I tripped and just lay in the snow.

**FAST FORWARD TO DIFFERENT PART OF DREAM**

I was in some gross apartment complex that was damp and dirty and sort of yellow, in the basement of it going through to the exit door to take the trail again. There was a man with a flashlight looking up into the pipes that line the wall, and a couple of girls across watching him. I don't know what they were looking for. They said something to me and I left out the side door. It was the same strange snowy twilight as the first part of the dream, and I started up the trail.

When I got to the top of the trail, it was daylight -- around noon it felt like, and I was at the top of the trail (different, this time, than before) with Gary and two other people. We gathered facing each other, making a diamond with our bags in the middle, going through our 'supplies.' A group of kids were in a line, on a field trip, to our rights. Gary and I were facing each other as we sifted through the bags. A woman walked past us, a stern light-skinned black woman with a purple skirt-suit on, and said something condescending and disapproving about Gary's bottle of whiskey, then walked back down the trail we had just come from (now significantly shorter than before). We shrugged, and I said "It doesn't matter; it's not federal land. We can have it."

**FAST FORWARD**

And then, somehow, we were in the back of this man and his two sons' old farm truck -- the kind with wooden rails up in the back, and we were traveling down a dirt road next to a field on one side and a few old houses on the other. I looked at Gary. "Do you know where we're going?" I asked him. He didn't. We stopped. I looked down the road and saw a small shape in the sky in the distance. It kept getting closer and closer and I realized it was a raspberry colored helicopter. It was coming to get us! We jumped off the truck and hid under it. We shot at it with something, but I don't know what. The old man laughed and I realized we had been kidnapped, tricked somehow. The helicopter flew in close and looked at me under the truck, as if it were a person or animal instead of a machine with someone in it. It flew off quickly, and the man was still laughing.

**FAST FORWARD**

Now we were in the house. We were gathered around on the floor while he sat and talked to us, and my cell phone suddenly rang. "I'm so sorry!" I said, as he glared at me. I got up to my backpack which was on a tall table and unzipped the front pouch. I pulled out my cell phone and tried to sneak away without being noticed. I went up a few stairs and into a big wooden room that was dusty and had no furniture but huge windows with dusty light pouring in. I put one finger to my ear and started talking into the phone to my mother. "MOM! I've been kidnapped! I don't know where I am. West Virginia? Pennsylvania?" I said, even though they both sounded wrong. She laughed and didn't believe me. I turned around and the old man was behind me in the doorway. He swiftly walked up to me.

**FAST A LITTLE FORWARD**

I was running from him, still in the house but looking for a place to hide. I ran into a smaller room which was upstairs. The only thing was a broke down camp bed near the doorway. I tried to wedge my way under it. The old man came in and immediately squatted down next to and looked under the bed. Suddenly I was in Matt's body and the bed had grown to admit the two of us under it, half-kneeling. He pinched my nipple with one hand and would not let go, as he smiled a crooked, missing-tooth smile at me, eyes slightly narrowed and crazy looking. He reached between my legs and grabbed my cock. I didn't like it. He squeezed it and told me how hard it was. I was afraid he was going to rape me.

**FAST A LITTLE FORWARD**

It was after the kidnapping. I don't know how I got back to my mom's house, but I was there with her and she was reading the paper. There was an article in it about my kidnapper; he had done the same thing to other boys and he had them captured in his house from 1959 to 1966. It said it was in Alabama. "So that's where I was," I thought. Mom still acted as if it were no big deal.

***********************

There was a little more randomness toward the end that didn't quite follow this grand story arc.

Also, no wonder I'm exhausted when I wake up.

beautiful day

It's another beautiful practically spring day in Boone and of course I will be working inside for eight hours running around for old ladies who need "...ALL OF YOUR TRIBAL SALE JEANS IN SIZE 12" immediately. This job just reminds me how nice people are to things and money but not other people. However, every once in a while a little old lady calls me sweet or adorable or "so cute" and I kind of like that in the sort of way a kitten probably likes attention. Whatevs. I don't think I get my clothing allowance until the store owner gets back from Florida, which sucks because I AM GOING TO GET THE MOST BADASS GENUINE LEATHER MOTORCYCLE JACKET FOR FUCKING FREE, MUTHAFUCKAS. Even if I have to wear the same pants+top every day to work. It feels like butter, y'all. Paula Deen would bake it into a heart attack.

Dan and I have taught ourselves the coptic stitch and have made a few books. Super fun times. I like hanging out and making things with him in his studio. This is the first time in a really long time where I have dated someone who has the same interests, actually encourages me to pursue those interests as if I were good at things, and pursues said interests with me for fun. (I've dated a lot of lame-o jerkfaces, though.) Pretty much Dan makes even the most mundane activities fun, and I completely adore him in a completely disgusting sort of way. This is where we all vom. *VOM*

ANYWAY. Lots of weird dreams, again. Night before last I dreamed my stepdad was retiring from the navy (which he did, like, 10 years ago). We were standing in the hallway of the house in Jacksonville, and my stepsister gave him a GIANT box of chocolates and a bouquet of roses. I felt like a jackass because I didn't get him anything. Then he set the box down, sort of fell over and grabbed his side/left arm because he was having a heart attack. I leaned down and touched his back to be like "WTF?! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!" and he pushed my hand away.

Two nights before that I had a dream where he was taking me and some other possible dream sibling down the parkway. We drove, then got out to walk, and the parkway turned into this absolutely stunning ocean cover surrounded by huge, green, steep mountains (sort of like a Norwegian fjord but meeting the ocean). We started walking out into the water, which was incredibly clear. It was warm. I don't know if the water rose or if we just walked out farther, but suddenly it was up to his chest and I scrambled onto a rock to sit. Then he told me to come on because it was time to leave, and I remember looking down at my feet and how it would be impossible to get down without the barnacles and shells cutting into my feet.

nm

I had a nightmare last night. It was either the repeat of a nightmare I've had before, greatly expanded, or it just felt like deja vu in my dream. Anyway, at the end of it, I was about to confront the person upon whom the nightmare was based around. I heard her making noises about the other end of the abandoned building in the sea where we were searching for her. I was outside on some sort of fire escape/balcony/whatever on the side of the house, while my compatriots were further inside in an unlit room that looked like it belonged to a little girl. I tried throwing lightbulbs down at the girl we were looking forward, but whenever I threw them they weren't making the noise of breaking glass. I then tried to scream at her, or at my company, but I couldn't get anything out. I tried harder and harder until I woke up making this godawful whistling noise in the back of my throat.

and some more

last night.

I dreamed I was driving down King street in the middle of the night and I wanted to take a short cut I thought I knew so I took a right turn and ended up driving around this neighborhood and I had no idea where I was and it was pitch black and I couldn't see the road so I felt like I drove up a hill and into someone's driveway and there were these two gangsta looking white teenage boys sitting on a big rock and they were lit up in my headlights and I asked them if they could tell me how to get back to King street and they came up and pulled me out of my car and one of them hit me in the face and the other stomped on the instep of my right foot

and then

I was at a big hospital trying to leave but they wouldn't let me until they had a chance to examine me because they said I had been raped. all I wanted to do was go home.

in the mire

more terrifying dreams last night. not 'terrifying' as invoking a sense of pure fright, like when your heart starts pounding and you wake up covered in sweat, but more like the slow sort of terror, the sense that something is horribly, horribly wrong, yet in your dream this is life.

We were living in a small, shitty, white house in a really poor semi-rural area. Sort of like some of the places I pass by in Kinston when I drive to mom's house from Jacksonville. There was a small, freshly turned field out back (1/4 of an acre?), and there was white powered sprinkled all over it. "dream mom" (who was black, interestingly enough, and I think at this part of the dream I was a little black girl, about 5 or 6) told me to go back and stamp it into the ground, because the neighbors would know it was lye and that Don was trying to cover up the bodies of the kids he'd killed.

earlier in the dream, at a different part of it completely disconnected from the aforementioned, there was some sort of camping trip or outdoor expedition or something, and an unrequited love was there. he looked older than he should. I was standing and he was kneeling, and I held his head against my chest and I was crying a little, and he was telling me he wanted to be with me, and I remember thinking I wanted it to but what about a family? what about kids? he would be so old when they were born. but I still wanted him so badly.

ugh.

anyway.

Got an email from Hawksnest. As soon as it gets cold enough they're going to start making snow. Which, as much as I don't want it to get cold, I really really want to start a better job. Calendars suck.

I think most of my frustration lately has stemmed from not working full time. I hate feeling as if I am not useful, intelligent, or a hard worker.

The BF has put up with my moods lately in a most honorable manner. It's nice to date someone who sees you as more of a person than an object.

poem from a poor sleeping

Last night I dreamt that I could fly

or, rather, glide across the sky.

I also dreamt my mother died

and that I cried, I cried, I cried.

life would be so much easier if my brain stopped talking

I finally saw him again last night. It had been... almost two weeks? Since I've seen him. Well, you know, I've *seen* him, with my *eyes*, but since we shared our peaceful camaraderie. I didn't realize how much I missed it until we were together. About an hour in, we were playing pool, and he cracked some joke and I laughed, finally, so hard I couldn't shoot, and he goes "Thank God! You know, that's the first smile you've cracked all night," and I didn't want to tell him that it was the first I cracked all day.

It was good. All we talked about was bullshit, thank god, because sometimes he slips in the most ridiculous thoughtful crap that I don't want to talk about, but mainly it was making jokes about each other and him telling me the history of punk/pre-grunge while he played examples on the jukebox and we both chained smoke, as usual. I went into the whole situation in a pissy mood, wanting to be angry at him (which, I didn't realize I was until I saw him, I told myself I was just busy, but I think in the end I was angry with him), and coming out of it totally relaxed.

I felt good and un-conflicted, for once. I got a good-night hug and that was that. And I was totally ok with it.

And then I tried to sleep. And the dreams started. And I don't know where we were (as if it mattered), but he was leaving, for somewhere, and I was saying goodbye. 'I just want to touch your face,' I said, and I took it and cradled it in between my hands, staring at him. And he kissed me, and he held me so tight and I began to cry. He kissed my face and I kept crying. I was overcome with sadness and longing like I haven't experienced in a long time.

And I woke up, and the last vestige of those feelings are still coiled tightly about my body like tendrils of morning glory, the full blooms shying away from the changing afternoon sun, but the vines still wrapped around my skin. And no matter how many times I tell myself to shake off the residue left by dreams, crazed landscapes of the subconscious, all I can think about is the how sweetly we touched each other's faces.

I refuse to confuse loneliness for a need for his affection. It's bad timing and it wouldn't end well.

dream

I dreamed about you. You were around my apartment, coming back from the bar or a party or something. You walked in and shut and locked the door behind you. You walked over to where I slept, took off your pants and shirt, and crawled into bed with me, wrapping your arms around me.

In the middle of the night I rolled over and threw my arm out, my mind still expecting to find you. Of course you weren't there.

....

I think maybe I've been reading too much Murakami, heh.

snowdreams

last night all my dreams were about snow.  and ice.  and, for some reason, my car.

I dreamed that I was driving with Tyler in my cute little neon out to Tyler's dream-house.  He lived in the middle of nowhere in this small wooden house/cabin thing in a valley.  The ground and the sky were the same shade of off-white; it was either early morning or dusk.  There was a deep pond next to his house, and since everything was blocked by like 3 feet of snow, we had to drive over the edge of the pond to get to the house.  The ice was weak, and when we started driving over it it cracked, and my car went trunk-side first down into the water.  I could see it filling in the car around Tyler and I (the both of us, despite the cold, wearing t-shirts and shorts).  We tried rolling down the windows to swim out.  I remember looking in the car at him as the water filled up and seeing it at his waist level and rising.  We must have got out somehow, though, because I remember it being "the next morning" and looking out the window and seeing my car, trunk down and front end sticking up in the air, frozen in the ice.

I also remember, later on in the dream, trying to find my car in a parking lot which was covered in 3 feet of snow.  I was wandering around, uncovering snow from all the cars, until I finally uncovered a window which had my Rice Boy stickers on it.  I also remember at one point everyone was "sledding" everywhere, but their sleds were essentially these strange-ly shaped little pods that could move around in the snow.  Strange shapes as in cartoon octopi and starfish and stuff.

END.

bad dreaammss

For some reason, especially in the last two years or so, I've become more and more susceptible to having entirely vivid dreams. Also, to remember a lot of them

Lately I've been having dreams that, while not up to the category of "nightmare," have definitely started rambling into the realm of slow horror. I just woke up from a nap. In my dream, I was in a house that sort of was like where I live now but much bigger. I was living with some other people I don't know, who belonged to a family that lived in a house above us. Apparently they had been having major family issues, as in, like, evil beating parents and all the kids were fucked up in a really pseudo-religious sort of way. Skip ahead a little bit -- I walked around the corner in my house and looked at the stairs, and one of the girls from the other family had hung herself in the stairwell. She was wearing a dark blue dress and her dark brown hair was done up in pigtailed braids.

I remember just feeling shocked, and I walked back and hid on my back porch (which, at this point, was screened in) when some other people (maybe Jodie, definitely Laurence) came in. I asked them if they had seen the girl and they said yes. Laurence said he had called the paramedics. He said they were gonna be pissed because everything in the house was such a mess. And then he asked if we knew about (insert name here), that he was really a serial rapist and was actually the father figure for the strange family. More shock. Then we started finding out that someone had planted drugs all over the house, and everyone was really freaking out about it.

I'm not really sure what spawned that dream. Or last night's, where mostly what I remember is a very terrifying boat ride on this wooden boat riding down a brown, tempestuous river, and stumbling upon these people whose limbs had been eaten off to the joints.

weird.