foodstuffs

lately lately lately

egg bake thing. like a quiche, but no crust. roast chicken + mushrooms + peppers + zucchini, with basil and garlic goat cheese and bay leaves. mmmmm. This was one of those "I wonder what happens when I cook this like THIS" things. Really I was just too lazy to make a crust.


cookies for visual book show. snickerdoodles, butterscotch cinnamon, chocolate butterscotch.

SO
I feel like I'm at that point in a relationship with someone
where I get really really really self-conscious
and paranoid
and convince myself that the other person doesn't really like me
because they have a bad day one day
even if it has NOTHING TO DO WITH ME
even if THEY TELL ME it has nothing to do with me
I still feel like I should be able to make them feel 100% better
and if I can't
there's something intrinsically wrong with me
or my personality
and that I'm a big fat failure.

so I need to take a deep breath
and reassure myself that I'm probably *not* a big fat failure
and that he probably *does* like me
and I need to tell myself
to STOP BEING SO FUCKING PARANOID
all the time.

yes.

Lately, From the Kitchen

apple stuffed, herb encrusted pork chop
homemade pizza. should have brushed the crust with olive oil for a better, golden brown color. tasted better than it looked, trust me. but it didn't look so bad in real life.

homemade biscuits with michigan spoon fruit. once again, more butter/olive oil would have lent them a better color.

chocolate molten cakes with fudge and berry spoon fruit... mmmmm... these were dank as hell.


my first meringue! there's lemon and lime curd underneath. sadly, I forgot the picture when it's finished and all golden and schtuff...

Goodbye, delicious, creamy, fatty, sugary foods.

In light of this weekend, I have been thinking about my consumption habits, and want to eat healthier. As admirable as Ben and Christian's chili-lemon-syrup detoxification was, I know there's no way in hell I'd be able to do that. But baby steps, my friends. At the grocery store I got cereal and a shit-ton of fresh veggies. Lunch today? celery-cucumber-spinach-carrot smoothie. It wasn't so bad, except for the overwhelming taste of celery, which I don't particularly like but apparently is good for you. Vitamin C and shit.

So of course, as soon as I go "Oh, I'm gonna try and be healthier 'n stuff..." Paula Deen makes a fucking friend peanut butter and banana sandwich today. That's all I've been thinking of since 5:30....

Compromise. I can eat one gross meal a day as long as I have two healthy ones. Considering I'm eating three delicious-but-awful-healthwise-considering-my-addiction-to-cream-sauces-and-carbs meals a day, I think that's progress.

Or at least that's what I tell myself.

Truancy

Today I took a personal day. I woke up this morning with an overwhelming desire to clean my apartment and, as that rarely happens, I decided that I should act upon it and cleeeaaan.

I am sort of OCD in that, when I am over at other people's houses hanging out or during parties or something, I really like to clean their places. Particularly collecting all the cans and bottles and rinsing them out for recycling. But for some reason when it comes to my own apartment, I am a little less motivated.

Not so good for me. Good for you, though.

So I cleaned and ran a few errands and whatnot, and then proceeded to have a really pleasant night with my new friend Tyler. We baked my favorite dark chocolate chocolate chip cookies with peppermint butter cream icing (the baking was his idea. that's how I knew we would probably be friends) and watching Duel, which is apparently Steven Spielberg's first movie? The cookies came out great and, after eating one, I felt like I had just shot up (oh, sugar!). The movie was wonderfully ridiculous, and made even better because Tyler apparently talks all the way through movies too (or at least this one) which I have a habit of annoying people by doing. Silly banter all around. I really enjoyed myself and the company.

Tomorrow: art day with Kristi and Emma, hooray! I've been looking forward to this all week :) I think I will probably try and do something with the mysterious 'art journal' I'm supposed to be keeping for Poetry/Bookmaking, which Lynn has been completely reticent about. Also probably jewelry, because I haven't made any new jewelry in a really long time, and I have beads out the whazoo. And maybe fixing up a piece or two for Art Expo.

Yeah!

(Also, yes, I gave in and made a fucking blog here too. So now I have three different online journals, all read by different people, in addition to the 9485748 I have handwritten, ha ha ha.)