omg yall

seriously. there's been, like, NO ONE in the store today. most boring day EVARRR. Plus the store owner forgot to switch over credit cards for the web hosting company, so our account is currently suspended. Which means I can't do pretty much 90% of what I was hired to do. SO. edited massive amounts of pictures in the optimism that they'll get their shit straight in the next week or so. ANYWAY WORK IS NOT MY WHOLE LIFE. *deeeeep breath*

Tomorrow I have a day off! (I think if I didn't have tomorrow off I wouldn't be so. fucking. antsy.) Tonight! Dan and I are going to the collective to make art? I am working on a new book which I am very excited about and will be a present! for someone. Therefore, there's a lot of pressure to make it perfect and beautiful, even though I know the recipient of this present won't give a shit if it's not perfect, but it's the thought that counts, y'all!!!!!

Last night Heather told me a little about her being in Korea. A very little, which has spurned me to request talkytimes with her! She said she was TOESL certified which means she made more money when she was over there. This is something I should think about, particularly if I'm not going anywhere anytime soon.

Saw Gary for about 3 whole minutes yesterday. He was driving through town and left me a message around 11 while I was at work. I left him a voicemail saying I would probably miss him and then pretty much forgot about it until later. Dan and I were sitting outside eating at Tuppelos and up walks Gary and Jenny! Yay! They were on their way out of town (for serious) so essentially just pulled over on the side of the road to say "OH HAI GOODBAI!" His new dog is adorable.

Still no news on future living situation.

I think that's it? End transmission.

twirly

stupid happy

Wild Wild Wet

Another rainy day at the Tweets. I'm really glad it's raining, because it rained on every one of my days off, and if it was sunny and beautiful while I was working this weekend I was probably going to throw myself in front of the train. I hate people who get pissy when it's raining here; we are zoned as a temperate rainforest. This is a good thing. Last summer everyone was angry because it wouldn't rain at all, and now it's too much, blah blah blah.

r....a...i.....n......

Ignoring phone calls from the asshat. God I have bad taste. Or perhaps it's just the idea that "No, I'm sure somewhere, deep down, deeeep down somewhere, this person is really not a complete waste of space and time, truly!".

psh. whatev. I should fly solo anyway. I think the universe is trying to tell me this too -- I went out the other night for dinner with some coworkers, and we had a super cute waiter. Who I was sorta-flirting with. So of course I spilt an entire glass of water right in my lap, all over the booth, the floor, etc. He comes up, trying not to laugh, and hands me a towel. Which I then promptly smothered myself with (((kidding, obvsly))).

I've got more important shit to concentrate on anyway. Like not spending money. And the GRE. And my fucking WRITING (oh yeah, that...). And Grad school. And the above also needs to include trying not to think about hottie professor, with whom I've had near-daily rapport since he left for France. Mmm....

A week until my birthday, a scant two weeks until NOLA. Fuck yeah!

hot stuff

so the last week has been about me learning that perhaps I am still somewhat of a hot commodity around this town.

Batting 3-0, bay-be.

movement

I need a project. Something big. Something that requires lots of creative thought and using my hands.

I want to build something or make something huuuugggeee and meeeaaannniiinnngggfffuuulll and pooowwweeerrrffuuuulll.

I need to create purpose, myself.


(There's more to life than being in love, you know.)

foodstuffs

lately lately lately

egg bake thing. like a quiche, but no crust. roast chicken + mushrooms + peppers + zucchini, with basil and garlic goat cheese and bay leaves. mmmmm. This was one of those "I wonder what happens when I cook this like THIS" things. Really I was just too lazy to make a crust.


cookies for visual book show. snickerdoodles, butterscotch cinnamon, chocolate butterscotch.

SO
I feel like I'm at that point in a relationship with someone
where I get really really really self-conscious
and paranoid
and convince myself that the other person doesn't really like me
because they have a bad day one day
even if it has NOTHING TO DO WITH ME
even if THEY TELL ME it has nothing to do with me
I still feel like I should be able to make them feel 100% better
and if I can't
there's something intrinsically wrong with me
or my personality
and that I'm a big fat failure.

so I need to take a deep breath
and reassure myself that I'm probably *not* a big fat failure
and that he probably *does* like me
and I need to tell myself
to STOP BEING SO FUCKING PARANOID
all the time.

yes.